I miss Hayes so much. There. I said it. And you can too. The holidays is a very tough time because we feel so much more pain. We miss our loved ones.
It takes alot of effort to feel. But it is important to do this. It does not mean that you have to sit in a corner and mope. Well, you can if you want. But, going for a walk and talking to yourself is fine. Or writing about how you feel in a diary is fine. Invite a family member to take a walk with you and share your feelings. It is ok. And it will feel good.
One thing that I have learned recently is to ask for help. It may be hard to do this because we don't want to bother others. But often they don't know that you want to talk. Let them know. They will listen.
Hayes died of SIDS a little over 6 years ago. I can only imagine how much fun it would be to see him here with our family. I will continue to grieve in the best way I know how. I have learned to live with it as time goes on, but that does not mean that the pain goes away. It really is just that-- I have learned to live with it. Living with it means addressing it, not ignoring it. Ignoring it is not living with it. Remember that it is ok to grieve.